I am so disappointed in myself

I need to have a talk with myself and make me understand that losing weight is my #1 priority right now.  Well, behind trying to stay healthy. 

Let's backtrack shall we?  LoL  Week one on Weight Watchers I lost 5lbs.  Great!!  Week 2 not as good but still lost 3.4lbs, that's a decent loss!
Week 3 I didn't go because of Thyroid surgery the day before, but still thought I was eating right and drinking lots of water.  Week 4 (last Tuesday) I went and GAINED 3.4lbs which puts me right back to week 1.  I am so irritated and disgusted.

So, I am trying to get back on track.  Honestly, I could be much more focused.  I could use the weights I bought every day while sitting around.  I could do stretches and walk small walks.  I could make portion size smaller.

This food thing to me is harder than quitting smoking. 
I just have to keep focused on the transplant goal and in order for me to get there I need to lose. 

I have been waiting and waiting for the results of my Thyroid biopsy.  Just a few minutes ago I decided to call the surgeon.  His nurse tells me I need another biopsy because last time they got no tissue... only fluid.  Only fluid?  How the hell does that happen?  They took 5 samples.  That is 5 chunks off this mass in my throat, guided by an ultra sound and they only get fluid?  This is a "nodule" that on ex-ray and ultra sound shows it's solid?  How the heck does that happen?
I am a little more than irritated.  It was painful.  O.K., not child bearing painful, but very uncomfortable to say the least.  And, last time I didn't have a very easy time keeping my blood pressure stable.  It dropped to 83/76 and took a while to get back up.  I am just not looking forward to this.  The nurse will call me back today and let me know which day next week.  Joy of Joys!

Stay positive .... remain calm ... repeat as needed.  LoL

My memory is total poo lately, so if I keep repeating myself forgive me. 
I am so close to being done with my cookbook.  I am waiting for a few pictures from my brother and a couple recipes from my sister in law.  Then I can order one and see if I like it before I order more for gifts.  I will make myself a note later today to call them and give them by the end of the weekend to send me what I asked for 3 months ago, otherwise the book will be missing them. 

I made some different plum sauce.  I had half of the plums left over and they were getting soft and no one was going to eat them.  I think I like this recipe better.  It tastes more like an oriental plum sauce, I think because it has sesame oil in it.  Anyway... I was once again amazed that 4 pounds of plums (I weighed them for the recipe) once cooked down only made 4 pints of sauce.  So I have spent 2 entire days in the kitchen to make 8 pints of plum sauce.  lol  Oh wait... make that 3 days, I forgot about the rose hips.

We will appreciate those 3 days when we use it to marinate chicken or pork.  Or use it for a dipping sauce.