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Thursday, April 18, 2013
Months ago I gave control of my life to Jesus, for he knows me better and knows my needs more than I know of myself.
With Bill and my split... but still living together there have been moments that are really difficult to get through. His drinking is getting worse, along with his prescriptions he takes. I have always worried about the combination, but there is no telling him. Now with the impending separation you can feel the tension at times. There are ugly words spoken, that I know he doesn't mean. He is hurt and lashing out and I am right here to throw it all on.
In times past I would have cried and thought of myself as a loser, or that something must be wrong with me. My frustration level would be through the roof, and I would get anxiety attacks and medicate myself.
Now, I hand it over to God. I read my bible, I study positive scripture, I stand on Jesus' promise that I am a child of God. And because of that, I am highly favored and under the protection of the Father. He blesses his children and saves them from condemnation. I started to see a change in my tolerance.
I still am living with a man who at any given moment I don't know what I will encounter. He is not violent and I don't want to give the impression that I am abused. I have strong feelings for this man. We have been through terrible times during our 30+ years together and came through it always together. It's just our time to move on. I wish him only the best.
Now for the good part!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My faith has only gotten stronger over the months. I am spending more time with the Lord, reading his words and living life as a Christian.
I have been praying for unmerited favor and grace. I had been praying to God to help me find a car that I could pay off and that would be better on gas than the Dodge Durango I had. So in March there was a couple in the church that had bought a new vehicle. They had mentioned that they were wondering what to do with their other car. One Wednesday after Bible Study I asked them if they would consider selling it to me. I told them I could make only small payments because my income was only $700.00 a month, but I could also put down a small down payment. She told me... "Let me pray over it and I will get back with you." The next Sunday she pulled me into an office and said we have agreed to sell you the car, here is the bill of sale sign here as the buyer. I looked at the paper to begin to read it and saw the price of $1.00. Yes ONE dollar! Praise God. This was just the beginning of blessings God had for me.
When Bill and I decided to split I began to pray for a house. One that I could afford and that would be easy to pay off after the sale of our house. Not long after that my best friend told me that she had a house she would sell to me for $45,000. It over looks the lake and the park. The view is amazing and the house has so many possibilities, it's amazing. It has tenants in it right now, but it has been taken care of very well.
Yesterday out of the blue I was asked to call a woman about a job I didn't ask for, nor knew nothing about. Today I had an interview and 3 hours later was hired at Diamond Home Improvement (a store like Home Depot) as a Sales Specialist in the flooring department. I will make a good hourly wage plus receive a very nice commission on all sales I make, not only that but I will have a 401k and full benefits.
This makes it possible to begin to rent "my" house within a few months and begin my independence, my peaceful existence, my new life... taking care of just me.
No one can tell me this is not of God. I praise Him and give Him all the glory!
This will allow me to support myself with no fear of lack.
A year ago my doctors gave me 3 years to live. Who would have thought I would be healed so quickly? Who would have thought I could manage a full time job? Who would have thought I could be independent and live my life according to Gods will?
This is God's works. God is good, he wants the best for us and all we have to do is to believe we will receive it, and give him thanks and the glory!!
Thank you Father!! ♥ This is my testimony. I am a blessed child of God. ♥