Walking into a new and brighter life.

Walking into a new and brighter life.

The healthy me

The healthy me

Finding your way around

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This I know.................

This I know.................

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Time to heal

The joke was on me today.  Remember I said last night that I had a doctors appointment today.  Well, I did.  But, I had just ASSUMED that it was a follow up to my emergency room trip on Thursday.  (thinking about it now, how could it have been a follow up if I didn't tell my doctor I was at the hospital in the first place?  Duh!!) 

Well, I show up and am sitting in the waiting area like normal.  A nurse I didn't recognize came out and called my name.  I stood up and followed her ... thinking maybe my doctors assistant wasn't there today.  Nope, we took a wrong turn and then another turn into a surgical room?  I just blindly followed.  I finally asked her what I was here for?  She said to have a cyst removed. 

A light bulb went on and I remember way back in the cobwebs of my memory that she had sent a request to my insurance company for approval.  Evidently someone had forgot to tell me and just scheduled the appointment.  Not that it really mattered to me, I can roll with the punches.  I just wasn't expecting to be laying on a metal table being injected with lidocaine and being cut open.  O.K., it was 5 stitches.  LoL  But, on top of struggling to feel normal again with this Pleurisy and now having to be careful of not sleeping on this incision for a couple days, and No Exercising, or Trampoline-ing for at least a week.  The stitches come out in a week so after that appointment she will give me the go-ahead to start working out again, both with the incision and the Pleurisy.

I asked Bill tonight if we could start going down to Veterans Park again in the mornings and let me walk the circle there.  It's lovely by the lake.   Last year we used to walk it every morning.  So, at least I will be getting some exercise.
I am tired of taking it easy.  I have days where I am forced to do that anyway, so when I feel strong and wanting to fight through this, to be hobbled is tough.
I don't know easy.  Easy makes me frustrated and left with a feeling of failing.  For two years I have had this attitude to fight.  I am afraid if I let myself step off and "take it easy" I won't get my fight back.  It almost makes me fearful and wanting to cry. 

I know I have said this before, but I have got up on days where I didn't feel good and I walked, or jumped, or went to Weight Watchers, or just got up.  I have worked out when I felt like taking a nap.  I have gotten showered and dressed when I wanted to stay in my pajama's and hide away.  I have went to the store and felt the looks and heard the remarks and I pushed forward with my head up. 

I have this momentum going.  Always push forward.  So, I will look at this like it is... it's time to heal and get strong again.  It's not time to lay around and eat.  No No No.  It's time to set small goals, like walking every morning.  Like eating good healthy meals and snacks, and drinking all of the water, and watching the sugar intake.  It's time to take all my meds and if I am tired then sleep, take naps.
Yep, that's what this is ... time to heal.
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