Walking into a new and brighter life.

Walking into a new and brighter life.

The healthy me

The healthy me

Finding your way around

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This I know.................

This I know.................

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Depression and Pain

I am here.  Sorry I missed a few days.  We didn't do much on the 4th, worked in the yard a little and that's about all.  Actually, Bill worked in the yard and I planted some more pots and containers.  Just doing that wiped me out.

We put up the pool and I have been enjoying that in the late afternoon and evening.  It is not heated and we have only had a few days of warm weather so it's still pretty cold.  I will love having it here this year though.

Bill is working on both sides of the house.  In the front he removed thatch that we had covering our front porch and lowered the roof about 6 inches.  He is putting up metal roofing over it.  That will be so much nicer.  He also removed all the privacy screen we had there so seeing it opened up kind of makes me feel like we are in a fish bowl. 
In the back yard he plans to rebuild the deck and replace some of the boards and re figure it. 
And, then near the end of the summer we plan to repaint.  Right now it is green.  I want it pale yellow with brown and white trim.  It is such a big job just to prep it to be painted.  Lots of scraping and windows to do. 
He will have to find help because I just can't do much anymore.

I went to Curves again today.  So far I haven't missed a day.  Still twice around.  I am being better about watching my food again.  Smaller portions and no eating bad things late.  Lot's of fruit and veggies.

I seem to be slipping a little into depression.  I just have to force myself to do anything.  The mornings I shame myself into going to Curves, I come home and do what I have to and then sit in my chair nearly asleep.  I have little energy, and have been going to bed around 8:00. 
I am just finding it hard to find the positive in most things right now. 

I am waking up again in the night because of lung pain.  I move around a little and toss and turn and eventually go back to sleep.  It's maddening.  The doctor told me to take extra medication when this happens.  I did in the beginning, but now I just hold on and wait for it to be over.  Sometimes it's touch and go whether I can hold on and not take pain meds.  It's just that the meds make me so dopey.  They are fine going to bed, but when I take them early in the morning hours then I don't wake up, or get up feeling tired and sleepy. 
I am not sure if my inhalers need to be increased or maybe this will just be the norm for me for now?  I have an appointment with my Pulmonologist in August, I'll talk to him about this. 

So... It's after 8:00 and I am barely holding my head up.  I am off to bed. 
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