I am still here.
I have been struggling with everything.
I am not sure what the heck is going on? I don't know if this is the Copd progressing or the Thyroid showing all it's effects.
I know this...
Out of nowhere my throat will feel like it is closing. Even with oxygen all the time I am so tired. If I were to sit in a comfortable chair and allow myself to shut my eyes, I would be sound asleep. My legs and feet and hands are so sore that it hurts to walk or even sit down. I get cramps in my throat and even my tongue. My eyes are dry, I think that is a side effect of the Spiriva. They start to burn about 4:00 in the afternoon and don't stop until I shut them to sleep. I have tried drops and it doesn't seem to work.
I know this "isn't lady like" to speak about ... but from the cannula's and filters on the concentrator, my nose gets FILLED with "stuff". I literally have to spray saline solution in it every night and morning just to clear it so I can breath.
I have been removing the filters and cleaning them every morning. I went to the oxygen supply company and got extra filters so I can rotate them.
Maybe I am just being over sensitive?
My appointment is coming up Thursday with my GP. This was supposed to be the "well woman's" check up that was postponed last time due to Thyroid test results. So, I am not sure what to expect with this appointment. I already had my ultra sound and blood work for the Thyroid, so who knows what will happen at this appointment. One thing I have learned lately is that nothing goes as planned.
I know I need to be better about coming here to blog. I just have been not wanting to complain. That is the point of this isn't it?!
These things are the reality of Copd and Emphysema. I have good days, I have days that I am cheery and happy and carefree ... Even with the cannula.
Then I have days that I just want to cry when looked at. That my self esteem is lower than low.
I have days that even though my lung hurts and my breathing is difficult I can push through and have a decent day.
I have days that I totally overdue it and pay for it for a couple days.
Lately because the Thyroid is adding to my discomfort I just have seemed the most uncomfortable I have been since diagnoses.
I have been doing some cooking. I will post some recipes tomorrow.
For now... I am off to bed.
Did you know: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is our longest word. What does it mean? As i live and breathe. This blog will take you through a journey of two women. The first being weak, sick and dying. The second (and my favorite) being born again with a renewed spirit and the receiver of true Divine healing.
Walking into a new and brighter life.
The healthy me
3 comments:
You keep talking about this all as "whining." It's not. Or - even if it is - SO WHAT?!!! Number one you have every right to whine, number two it helps get it off your chest, number three it illuminates the rest of us. So as far as I can see those are three pluses. Now if you dwelt there, it might be another story. But personally I don't think you're dwelling there. You're just telling it like it is. And like it is ain't too pleasant. Thems the facts of life. Hard reality. Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow.
A thought about racing heart beats - perhaps incipient panic attacks? (Which I would imagine might come to the fore when you're concerned about your next breath.) My husband used to put a paper bag over his head and it helped. Concentrated carbon dioxide from our own exhalations somehow calms us. I just looked up a link that may or may not be of benefit to you. http://www.thedailymind.com/stress/dealing-with-panic-how-to-calm-down-during-a-panic-attack/
Another thought - a Yogi (or whatever they're called) can slow down his nervous system to a point where he's taking in a miniscule amount of air. No doubt because he's so focused on being calm. Check out calming techniques. Throwing out ideas....
Giulia,
I understand agree with what you are saying about whining.
When I started this documenting blog I didn't realize I would be writing down negatives with each blog. After a while those negatives get to you. I try and find a positive or a ray of light everyday ... even if it's just using humor to explain a scary situation.
I am really looking forward to this doctors appointment. I am hoping that removing this nodule that is pressing against my throat and wind pipe (technical term! lol) many of these symptoms may disappear. She (my primary care doctor) explained last month that this could be what is causing my pulse to be so high.
I actually tried the paper bag thing. Of course after many jokes by Bill and I... I breathed and breathed and nada. But it did lighten the mood! ;)
I love that you are following me through this. I love that you make such caring and supportive comments.
Thank you for being a great friend. Sometimes when I think about giving up on this blog because I feel it's so repetitive (can't breath yesterday, can't breath today and probably won't breath tomorrow) you snap me out of it.
THANK YOU!
(((Hugs))
hi, have the copd- emphysema. i found out i had a tyroid problem three years. found i have hashimotoe's disese(enlarged tyroid).so have to take a pill for the rest of my life. and take blood test every three month to see if they have to lower or upper the dosage(ugh).my thyroid bother me alot, always swallowing, clearing my throat. feels like a frog in my throat, lol.
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