Walking into a new and brighter life.

Walking into a new and brighter life.

The healthy me

The healthy me

Finding your way around

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This I know.................

This I know.................

Monday, January 24, 2011

A terrible Monday

I just wanted to  check in... Today has been one of those days I would be perfectly happy to have disappear and never reoccur.

2 very dear friends of our family had a son who had been in and out of the hospital most of his short 9 months.  He passed away yesterday.  They have 2 beautiful daughters who are 4 and 2 and he was their last.  A boy.  Little Ryker you will be greatly missed.

It just leaves a quiet hush around the house.  Something unspeakable, and yet so present.  There are just no words that can ease the pain.  I think we all need a book or a set of phrases to say in important situations throughout our lives.  Comforting words, uplifting words... just the right thing when it's needed.  Wouldn't that be nice to just flip to a tab and say the appropriate thing? 

Then tonight for the first time in over a year my step father sends me a message on facebook and signs it with both his name and the woman he is with.  If I haven't made it clear... I disapprove highly of his choice of a companion.
So as nicely as I could... I sent him a picture of him and my mom and I standing in their kitchen about 6 years ago, and I told him this is the family I remember.  That I wished him health and happiness but by him being with "her" I feel dishonors my mother.  I signed it.. love Kellie.

I hope that is the end.  I talk to my mom a lot.  Out loud, especially when I have the house to myself.  I am not sure if that's healthy or not?  But we have some great conversations. 

Tomorrow is my Weight Watchers weigh in.  I am not so confident this time around.  I have been eating mostly broth and chicken soup.  But, have also been eating sherbet and sorbe' to make my throat feel better.  And, I have not exercised in 3 days.  Well... Last night I got on my trampoline and bounced for a while, until I almost coughed up a lung.  So I decided until I can feel a little better no jumping. 

This is my first "lung infection" since diagnoses.  Umm, maybe once last year I can't remember.  Any way...  it is so much different now.  It didn't waist time much in my head, or start out as a sinus infection, it pretty much went right into the lungs.  I still have a plugged up nose, but most of it is running down the back of my throat.  Sorry for the visual there!  LoL

My lungs are really hurting.  Aching, sharp pains when I cough.  I have not been able to cough anything up.  I need to be able to do that to avoid pneumonia.  I am on my 3rd day of steroids and antibiotics.  True to form the steroids leave me sleepless and are beginning to make me puffy.  I don't know why that is?  Every time I have had to remove my rings... my fingers will swell. 

I will let you know how things go tomorrow at weigh in.  I certainly hope tomorrow is a better day.
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