As I live and breathe

A friend left me a comment, this is part of it..............
don't you realize that you're a shining example of how to live DESPITE it? You're an inspiration. You're full of courage and fight. On top of all the rest. THAT'S what this blog is about. It's about teaching the rest of us how to be magnificent in dealing with what life hands us. Not just what living with COPD is about. You're detailing the experience, yes, but because of your beautiful spirit, you've become a teacher.
I have thought about this for two days.  Almost speechless, I feel humbled and anything but that description. 

Writing this blog started out to be all about Copd and the daily struggles.  It really has taken on a life of it's own.  It is a place I come to where I feel safe and can "say" anything I want without fear of judgement or hurting feelings.  It's very freeing.  I never thought of myself as a teacher.  And, "beautiful spirit" is a phrase I would have never connected with me. 

It is an awesome feeling knowing just one person feels that way about me.  I don't take compliments well.  I am not sure why?  It's easier to hear the bad than the good.  It's always been that way for me.  It could be being raised by a (wonderful) mother who had very high expectations for me, and I always was just short of reaching them.

Anyway... my Angel of a friend.... Thank you so much for the kind words.  I will always remember them and you.

O.K....  So,
Yesterday I did so well sticking to exercising and eating well, then last night I was out of control.  The good thing (if there is such a thing) about me getting out of control is I do much less harm because we don't have much bad in the house.  I ate... 3 Quaker Rice Cakes, 4 pieces of bacon, 2 yogurts, 2 laughing cow cheese.   All totaling about 300 calories.  But, that's 300 calories I need to make up for this week.

I have a problem eating a meal then calling it quits.  So... I have been drinking coffee in the morning, water throughout the day, and then around 4-5 having dinner.  Then holding off until around 8:30 or 9:00 for a snack before I go to bed.  Night time eating is such a bad habit for me!

Tonight I got the urge again, but said NOPE... and have gotten up and got on the trampoline for 5 minutes or more until the urge has passed.  It's 9:00, I am sitting here watching American Idol and wanting to snack.  Ugh

This is about where I go take my night time meds and hope they make me sleepy before I give up and give in.
This weight loss for me is much harder than quitting smoking.  Smoking I could quit cold turkey.  Over and done with!  Food on the other hand, you can't do without.  It's that happy medium that I find hard to sustain.  The obvious is... My life is nowhere as active as it once was.  Between the Copd and back issues I am not as active, however I still had been eating like I did 10 years ago.  Hence the weight issue.  It's really quite simple... I either need to be more active, or cut back on calories.  And, to lose weight I need to do both.


They say it takes 6 weeks for something to become habit.  I am hoping good eating and breaking the night time eating will become second nature to me.  As with everything worthwhile I can fight it out.