Walking into a new and brighter life.

Walking into a new and brighter life.

The healthy me

The healthy me

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This I know.................

This I know.................

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I almost made it

Today it reached 23 for our high temperature.  We had fog all day and it froze on all the trees and fences.  It was beautiful, but I knew as soon as I stepped out the door I wouldn't be able to spend much time outside.  Along with the fog hanging in the air was also smoke from wood stoves burning. 

I went to weigh in this morning.  Yesterday I was worried about gaining weight.  Today I feel pretty good about my week.  It goes to show you the importance of exercise.  I lost 2 pounds.  Bringing my total weight loss to date to 23.4 pounds and that is more than my 10% goal. 
So, it took since August to now to lose 23 pounds, that's about 4 months.  I know I can do better.  I think with this bodybugg I can about 8 pounds a month.  We'll see won't we?  LoL

I had to make a new goal... so why not another 20 lbs.  That will put me below my goal for surgery.  I have 14 pounds to go for that.  My weight right today is 200.2 pounds.  Do you think I could get under the 200 mark ... NO!!  LoL  Next week I will. 

I can't believe I ever got that big anyway!   Yes, I had back surgery, and yes I have Copd... but if I can get up and move around now... I sure could have done it then.  Unless... continuing to smoke made me so breathless I really didn't do anything extra, just sit around and smoke and eat.  How glamorous!  LOL

Losing weight today was the positive push I needed to get back on track after the holidays.  Maybe it wasn't just the holidays... honestly I think depression has a lot to do with being successful at any thing you are attempting.  If I don't feel good about myself, I tend to sabotage myself. 

I talk a lot about not hearing about this lung volume reduction surgery and I am getting impatient.  Well ... I still would like to hear from Seattle, but I have to be honest and say ... I am scared. 

The Copd site and Transplant site I belong to on FaceBook have lost 2 people since Christmas.  It just makes me realize that this is not a minimally evasive surgery.  This is about as major as it gets.  If those lungs don't work or leak after surgery... or if infection is introduced... it's pretty much over and done with at that point. 

Each time I hear of another Copder that I know passing away or being hospitalized and put on the ventilator it sends a chill down my spine. 
Families of people with the Severe end of this disease must realize that really we are living on borrowed time.  Yes, we can do all we can to remain healthy, we can exercise and lose weight to be kinder to our lungs.... but one lung collapse, or serious infection and we are in big trouble. 

Breathing is necessary for life.  And, if that is halted so is life.  It's that simple.
I have researched U of W's transplant center and they have a very good track record.  I have gotten a good recommendation from my cousin who is a Nurse in the transplant unit there and he sees first hand and he tells me he would send his children there.  My pulmonologist tells me he has full faith in this hospital.  So, I leave it up to the doctors.  They will be able to tell from my tests if it is too soon to start operating, or if it's time. 
The last 5 years of smoking pretty much put this out of my hands.  I have a feeling had I quit 5 or 10 years ago... Yes, I probably would still have emphysema, but I am sure it would be in the early stages now instead of near the end.  Darned cigarettes.


Spunkie said...

Kellie you always tell it like it is so true about the weight and your lungs ... I wish I could say your blog was incorrect but you are right on now all we can do is take better care of ourselves. YOU have started great weight loss I am so proud of YOU '-)

Giulia said...

OK, time to start looking at those people who have had successful lung surgeries - not the ones who have died. Where you put your head is where you will go....they say. Force your head into positive directions. The negatives are easy. The challenge - to dispel the negatives, dwell on the positives. For all of us, it's the same challenge. Well, except for those rare few who just seem to be happy given any rotten, miserable, lousy, circumstance. Those people who make a lot of money trying to teach the rest of us how to have their attitude. The "la la la life is just beautiful no matter what... " people. The motivational speakers. They're probably really so happy because they're making a fortune off of all the rest of us miseries! LOL Point being here: don't lose your sense of humor, Kellie, that'll kill ya quicker than anything.

Anonymous said...


I agree with Giulia...I pulled myself out of depression last fall(I currently have no medical insurance) by telling myself out loud "You are OK" over and over and walking around the house smiling...had to force myself...but it worked! I typically deal with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) but this year, it is GONE!!!! Glad I live alone...someone else might have thought I was crazy, but IT WORKED!!!! Don't project the outcome (don't know where I learned this, but I have "taught" it to one of my daughters), count your blessings, and enjoy each moment...simple, but NOT EASY!!!!!

This is an unrelated comment, but on my "bucket list" is to "publish" a cookbook similar to yours and share it with friends and family for next year's Christmas present...could you tell me where you went to have yours put together? I would appreciate it...thanks, Savannah

Anonymous said...

P.S. I have a friend with major lung problems...not from smoking, but because her parents were heavy smokers and smoked in the car on family trips (a lot of them) with the windows closed, etc. She is in her mid-50's...her doctors are amazed that she has lived this long (they still haven't "diagnosed" her "disease")..according to them, she should have died three years ago, but she is still alive :). She did not want to do a lung transplant either, but goes to puliminary rehab sessions and loves the group of friends she has made there...is there something like that available in your area? She also needs to lose weight, but that is her choice, not mine to "advise", you are doing FANTASTIC with the weight loss, I know it will help you so much...Don't "project" about lung transplant...that is not what your doctors are advising for you! The internet is good for connecting, supporting, and for information, but "lung transplant" is NOT on your current agenda...lung reduction surgery is and you ARE taking the necessary steps to be healthy for THAT surgery! ♥ Savannah

Kellie said...


The site I used to put my cookbook together is called tastebook.com

I really like the end result and the book was easy to put together and add photos.

The only thing I would suggest when ordering yours (after it's all put together) is to also order the page covers.
The best part (for me) about the cookbook is each page is removable so you can take it in the kitchen with you. The pages themselves will stain, so I need the covers. Good luck with yours, and when your done, I'd love to see it.

I have had a terrible couple days, so when I pull myself back together I will post a new blog. Most likely Tuesday after Weigh in.

Hugs to you all and thanks for the friendship and great advice.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the info, Kellie, re: the cookbook website, I very much appreciate it...I've been sick the last 3 days myself, too, and had to drag myself to the store for "supplies"...one of the drawbacks of living alone, but I got "extras" to store for next time.

Hope you are feeling better soon...I just started the 17-day diet today that Dr. Phil is touting on his show...got the book and the exercise DVD...couldn't start it as soon as I wanted to--cranberry juice was not allowed :). And I won't be exercising today, either, still too weak from being sick, but I am following the food plan...hope it works, I'm ready to get this extra weight off! Hugs and good luck at weigh-in,

My 2Cents Not Worth A Penny said...

Hearing that it took you 4 months to lose 23 pounds has encouraged me. I lost 15 in 2 months and have been hard on myself for not losing more. I've gained over 100 pound in 2 years when I was diagnosed with Lupus and COPD. My emphysema is in the early stages, my lupus is in my lungs and I have pulmonary Hypertention and Interstitial Lung disorder all in begining stages but together I need 2ltr of O2 upon ambulation. I smoked for over 40 years and I to believe had I stopped sooner..well. I understand the struggles, the fears, the anger and loniliness. But we have to be positive so that we can go on. When we have those days that are worst then others we just got to try to get over it and believe things will work out for us. I know easier said then done, especially when yesterday I had such a bad day my thoughts went to suicide.Our burdens when we become chronically ill are heavy then most and we have to learn to be strong. Keep fighting and victory will be yours.