I am bloated

I talked with my oldest brother a couple nights ago.  It may have been last night??  I can't remember.  He said he can only make it for 2 nights and then he has to go back home.  He also said that my other brother told him that he just can't get away.  I figured.

I got the hotel information and sent it to both of them.  I told them that I had this planned since last June and that Bill and I were going to be there for the week.  I told my one brother that isn't coming that.... Life is short and it seems we only get together for surgeries or funerals and to me that is unacceptable.  I told him I loved him and always enjoyed our time together. 

This is familiar to me.  They did the same thing to mom for years and years.  If mom or I ever wanted to see them we had to go to them.  It made her feel like they didn't care and now I know first hand how she felt.

I first wrote a guilt-ridden email saying that I am on full time oxygen now, and that they need to think back to when both mom and dad got on their oxygen.... Sadly, there wasn't many years left for either one of them.  I went on to say that now I can get around pretty well, but soon enough I won't be able to climb hills, or walk through town.  Of course I am trying to be much healthier than them, and I am much younger.  Still this is progressive, and with my best efforts I will be limited.  Anyway.... I didn't send that email.  It felt good writing it, and therapeutic to erase it.  Is that odd?  lol 

As it is we are leaving from the 13th through 17th.  That will give Bill and I a couple days to just wander around by ourselves.  I am hoping for good weather so maybe we can kick back by the pool.  I am doubting that though, we have had freezing temps and snow the last week. 

I didn't go to my Weight Watchers meeting today.  I think this is the first meeting in a long time I have missed.  I had a Cardiologist appointment this morning.  They just went over my blood pressure results from the last 2 weeks.  They asked me to take blood pressure morning and night for 2 weeks along with my pulse and I gave that to them today.  My pulse is still above 100.  They have doubled my nightly dose of my heart medication.  I am to watch my blood pressure and make sure it doesn't get too low, and watch for dizziness, then get back to her this week and let her know if that is working for me.  I will go back to see them after my Pulmonologist appointment in August.

I was a little relieved to not weigh in today.  I haven't been very good this week.  A little pizza at Layla's birthday party along with cake.  Bill made banana bread and I think I "slivered" all of one loaf.  You know, when you keep slicing small slices and then you realize you have sliced the whole thing!!  lol  I feel bloated from the salt I have gotten from not watching food.  Ughh... I just feel like I haven't been kind to myself.  I have no excuses, I put every bite into my mouth... it just is much easier to keep the house junk free with only Bill and I here.  We spoil the girls and I end up eating more than they do.
This week for my own well being I am getting back into the fruits and veggies and lean meat with no salt! 
I will have 4 weigh in's this month and I am hoping to make June a worth while month for my weight loss and inch loss.  Even with our little trip.  I can still enjoy great meals and not over do it.