Walking into a new and brighter life.

Walking into a new and brighter life.

The healthy me

The healthy me

Finding your way around

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This I know.................

This I know.................

Sunday, May 22, 2011

What's next? ;)

First I have to comment for Giulia....  LoL  You crack me up.  Yes, I was willing to drag my body down that path until I finished the 5k.  ;)  No more long walks for me for a while at least.  You nailed it... I had to prove to myself I could still do it.  There is a big difference in being able to do it, and being sensible and knowing ones limitations.  I always did have to learn the hard way.  I love that you know me so well!  <3

As for the friends... I found one of them after I was invited to the 30 year class reunion last year and we talked back and forth for a little while, then once I told her about the lung disease... nada.  The other friend actually found me on face book and wanted to catch up through email.  She sent me a really long email telling me about the last 30 years... husband, kids, work, life.... I wrote back and no reply.  She was so happy to be in contact.  It's behind me now.  And, I have heard and now understand that some just don't know what to say.  That's up to them, because like I said I do not live my illness.  Yes, I have bad days but if I didn't have this cannula on no one would know they just spoke to someone with severe Copd.

What's next for me??  LOL  Funny you should ask.

The exact date is not set yet, but the first part of June Bill and I are going to meet my oldest brother in Bend, Oregon and go to where we scattered mom's ash's 2 years ago.  We went last year and put a small business card size bronze plaque on a tree there.  This year we are just going to say "Hi Mom". 
The thing is to get there we have to hike.  Uphill in the high desert.  Soft sand is impossible to walk uphill easily.  Last time I had my O2 in a designer hand bag, Capri pants and flip flops in the dusty dirt... this year I'll take my O2 backpack and jeans and tennis shoes.  I told Greg (my brother) and Bill that they may need to drag me up the hill.  Did I mention we need to climb through barbed wire?  LOL  It should be interesting.

More than anything I am looking forward to spending time with my brother.  I miss my brothers so much.  They both live in Eastern Washington, and even though I am in Oregon... it's just far enough that we only see each other once a year. 
My other brother won't make the trip.  He is "too busy" with his job.  Which is true, but everyone can take time off... even the President takes vacations. 

I told Greg to explain it to him this way... (and I don't mean to be dramatic, just honest)... With a good lifestyle and kicking and fighting all the way... my disease is still progressive.  Like it or not I can see a change from last year to this one.  No one knows what is to come, but people with severe Copd just don't live longer than 10-15 years tops.  Especially once they are on full time O2.  So... if we see each other once a year, I can see them at the most 15 more times.  If he keeps backing out of our trips that number gets smaller all the time. 

It seems the only time I see him and have all the family around is at funerals.  And, that is unacceptable to me. 

I am sure it will just be Greg and his girlfriend and that's O.K.  Britt said she will come up the day we go "see" mom.  We plan to be there 4 or 5 days.  Just sitting around visiting and walking through some shops. 
I am looking forward to it. 

So, that's my next adventure. 

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