Good days don't last

This was part of my Febuary 12th entry......

"It occured to me that "THESE ARE MY GOOD DAYS. THIS IS MY TIME TO ENJOY". LIFE AND MY ILLNESS WILL ONLY GET WORSE FROM HERE ON OUT, so I had better find a way to enjoy these "good times" before they are gone too soon!

Sooner rather than later... I won't be able to go for my morning walks without oxygen with me. I won't be able to walk around my house "hose free" during the day. I won't be able to go to the store without my oxygen. Not just the oxygen... I won't be able to play with Layla, sing her songs without losing my breath. Read her stories without gasping pauses.

This is my time. These are my months, years to do all I can. Because like it or not, want to admit it or not... I will in a short time be limited. When I want to go visit someone... I will make plans for oxygen to be there ahead of me or take it with me.
If I go to the store, will I be able to walk through? or will I need one of those carts? I can't even imagine what I won't be able to do. I guess I prefer not to think about it."
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This afternoon my small portable concentrator will be here. Those good days I talked about up there sure didn't last long, and I wasted time.

I have to quit that! It seems things are progressing faster than I thought. My friends and family are going to HAVE TO UNDERSTAND that it's not that I don't care, it's not that they are not important to me... but I won't sweat the small stuff anymore. If someone has a problem with me, that's their issue. I haven't on purpose hurt or ignored anyone. I just don't have time to deal with pettiness. I don't want to waste time on those who have drama or need attention.

This is my time to be selfish. Let me explain that..... I want more than anything to just live and be happy. I want those around me to be happy and enjoy the time we have. I want to laugh and make memorable moments. I will not let anyone into my life that wants to damage that. That's not too much to ask for I don't think?

One a seperate topic, I went back to the dentist today and... Now I have 2 infections, needing 2 anti-biotics. I go back in on Thursday and if it hasn't started clearing up then she will go in and surgically remove flesh.
LOL Jeeze... can I just get a break somewhere??? Please!!