Walking into a new and brighter life.

Walking into a new and brighter life.

The healthy me

The healthy me

Finding your way around

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This I know.................

This I know.................

Monday, August 1, 2011

Good days and a bad one

(I am frustrated... somehow white highlighting got formatted, and I am in no mood to figure out how to remove it.  Sorry if it's distracting. )

It's been a while.  I got busy living.  :)  I had spent everyday in the pool floating around listening to music and pretending I was back on the beach in Mexico. 

Friday Bill and I went over to Britt's and had a BBQ with her and Layla.  Fernando had gone hiking.  Layla was driving her car around the backyard and this is what the result was.  Bill told her she is not unlike many women drivers... she thought that was a compliment.

I love Britt's house.  It is big, but it nestled in with all the pine trees and so quiet.  We had planned to stay there until it got dark and cooled off some to get into the hot tub.  It never cooled down!  LoL  Isn't that a crack up that Layla drove her car over the top of the only big boulder in the yard!  lol  She was so pissed that I took her picture.  I told her someday her future husband will love that picture! 

Saturday we had a pool party with Britt and Layla (Fernando was gone hiking) and Becky and Kevin and their youngest daughter.  It was an awesome day.  I really enjoyed having the kids here.  Becky and Brittney have been friends for 20 years, so she is just like one of my kids. 
Bill BBQ'd and we just had a lovely day...

Then Sunday Bill and I decided to have a slow day.  I had even talked him into getting into the pool with me and floating around for a while.  I had just finished cleaning out the pool (the pictures below) and started feeling sick to my stomach and dizzy.  Within an hour I was panting for air and having chest pains and terrible throbbing pains in my right elbow and right knee and ankle.  Every joint on my right side was KILLING me.  I have never had that happen before. 

Right after this I was in the house taking the new series of medications my doctor had just prescribed for me the previous week.

How quickly things can go from excellent to terrible.  My pulse which is usually 100+ was hovering near 70.  My oxygen would go from 85 to 98.  I was just all over the place.  After about 6 hours or so I finally threw up which helped my over-all feeling, but the chest pain still lingers today.  It is nothing like it was yesterday, but it is there reminding me there will be no exercise or exertion for the next few days.

Can you know how frustrating that is to me?  I look forward to my workouts and even my trampoline.  It seems like since about May I have not been able to keep a consistent work out or routine.  I can go for a few weeks then I am knocked back down again.  I am wondering if this is my body telling me the working out is too vigorous?  God, I hope not.  I am not doing well with my dieting even though I am eating healthy... does that make sense?  Any way... without a workout I am afraid I will start putting the weight back on. 
It's not even just the weight.  I feel stronger when I am well.  I feel healthy, even with this cannula on.  Then on the flip side when I am down... it is something I can only describe as the worse feeling I have ever had along with sharp stabbing pain.  The sharp stabbing pain makes my body not want to breath in and out to avoid the pain... then my senses take over and I feel like I am suffocating.  It is like living a horror movie.

Enough of the dramatics... I am just lost.  How can I go from such a good feeling, so quickly to a spiral downward?  Nothing can prepare me for it.  Nothing can tell me it's coming so I can mentally prepare for it. 

This is something I will have to deal with evidently.  Maybe with time I will be able to tell a slight difference in something to tell me it's coming. 

So, today I am back to taking it easy.  To not put any undo stress on my body.  Ugh

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