My trampoline

One of my friends was asking me about the trampoline I use for cardio.  Here it is.  It's low impact so I can actually get quite a work out in before I need to rest.  Gawd... my hips and butt look huge in that pic!  LoL  I am having a flash back from my mom ... "Never wear white or horizontal stripes around your rear end!"  LOL 

Look at my baby girl Midori ( the pitbull) watching me.  She loves to watch me bounce ... but looks worried because she is scared of the camera!  LoL
... So... I really love this little thing.  I can pick it up and hide it under my bed, then just pull it out when I use it.  After my morning coffee I try and do at least a half hour, sometimes my breathing will allow me to get an hour in.  Today nope... 30 minutes.  I am still trying to do 2 hours a day, and get 10k steps in, and burn 2500 calories.  Almost always if I get at least 10,ooo steps in the rest fall into place.  Sometimes the 2500 calories are tougher to get than other times.  It all depends on how hard I can work out. 

Still doing well holding off the late night eating.  I actually have been so tired lately.  I mentioned this before that I never have been a sleeper.  I swear lately getting up before 8:00 is unheard of... more like 9:00 or later.  That is just not like me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote that up there Thursday... now it's Sunday evening and I am finally finishing this blog. 
I had good days dieting except yesterday the entire day got away from me.  It started in the morning and continued through the day.  Even with all the eating I did I still had a deficit.... although small, I'll take it.  I think the deficit was 350 calories.

That picture of me on the trampoline cracks me up!  A few months ago I would have NEVER put a picture like that of myself online.  But, over the last year or so... I just decided I am me.  I am in a larger package than I would like, and I am working on getting smaller.  But I will not hide away and pretend I am something I am not.

I weigh just under 200 pounds.  I am turning gray and finding moles and marks on me that weren't there last year.  My eyesight has gotten terrible and I can't see without glasses on anymore.  I have a cannula around my face 24 hours a day, and when I take it off to shower there are permanent lines on my cheeks where the tubing goes.  Sometimes when I go out in public or to someones house where I am not familiar I have once in a while (too often) had panic attacks.  I excuse myself, go into the bathroom and Breath in and out slowly.  I am not sure what brings them on... but my heart races, my body temp goes up and I begin to get the shakes. 

It happens mostly when I am out alone.  I think running out of oxygen that one day and trying to figure out if I should continue shopping or go out to my car and get my extra bottle and then return shopping ... but then... what do I do with this partially filled shopping cart?  How can I explain to anyone to save these items for me when I can't breath to speak? 

I just made myself breath and checked out and came home.  I finished shopping another day.  But, I will never forget how I felt.  Total panic and the more I panicked the more out of breath I became. 
Pursed lip breathing.  Taking big breaths in and breathing out slowly through pursed lips ... repeat.  LoL 

So, I was remembering a simpler time yesterday.  A time when I could just grab the car keys and my purse and go anywhere.  Even a overnight trip was no big deal.  Throw a few things into my suitcase and add a few bathroom items... shampoo/conditioner and my make up bag.
Well... make up has long since gone away.  Once in a blue moon I will wear it for special occasions, but now I just get up and wash my face and call it good. 
Now if I were to go anywhere overnight I have to think of how many small bottles of O2 to bring.  One bottle lasts about 3 hours.  Then I need to think (if driving) how many larger bottles do I bring for the car.  One large bottle about 6 hours.  Then pack up the concentrator and make sure I bring the heavy duty extension cord in case there isn't any plug ins for it.  Then... all my meds.  My god!  I have pills for morning, afternoon and night time.  Plus, the handy dandy inhaler that I keep a new one in the car at all times for emergencies.  Then whatever clothes and toiletries.



These are my morning meds I take everyday.




These are my nighttime meds that I take every night.

I take one of those mid afternoon too.  I just wanted to keep track.  I remember once seeing a friend of mine on a quit smoking site take a picture of all her meds and it amazed me.  I know the elderly have a huge volume of pills they take, but I am only  49. 

I watch T.V. shows like Oprah and see woman who are turning 50 who look amazing, who are healthy and live great lives.  I envy them.  I have more in common with the elderly than with anyone my own age.  As a matter of fact I try to keep in check sometimes not talking about my illness.  There is more to life than this. 

I am going to work on a different cook book.  This one will be lighter food.  Some of the same recipes that were in the old book, only modified with lesser calories and fat.
No matter what people do in life they always have those times when they need a healthy choice.  This will be my wonderful gift to Brittney and each one of my brothers. 
Sometimes it's just getting in the lighter mindset... it's like (slaps self on the forehead) "why didn't I think of that?"  At least that's how it is for me a lot of the time.

Anyway... expect more recipes coming with photos.  This time not only will the picture but also the nutritional values of each recipe. 

I am starting that in March and hope to be done and ready to put a book together by April or May.  We are having a "memorial" for Mom in June around her birthday in the Bend area.  Both my brothers will be there and possibly some of mom's friends and a cousin or two.  I would like to have the recipe book done then to give to them.

I am already looking forward to getting started.  It will give me a goal to work towards and will fit in nicely with my new healthy eating plan.  I am going through recipes now and kind of playing with them exchanging different ingredients.  The challenge I have faced through all of this is spicing.  I am learning more about spices and how to use them, but staying away from salt is difficult.  I have gone to sea salt only because it doesn't have the sodium content that regular salt has.  However, the body does need a little sodium.  That might be a good discussion to have with my doctor on my next visit.

Sorry again about it being so long between blogs.  I will start doing better, if for no other reason than to get my recipes here.