As I live and breathe

I used to blog on yahoo 360 then that shut down. I moved to multiply and that just wasn't my "cup of tea". Then I went to a few more places and finally decided I would just start my own blog.

I am sure it will have moments of bitching. Times of feeling sorry for myself, and being menopausal. But I wanted somewhere I could just go and write. Write about what I am going through with this illness. Write about how afraid I am at times. About my struggles with depression. Write about being a mom and grandma. I intend to make this a brutally honest view of my life. I somehow think my life is not that different from many.

I think we all share certain struggles. Yours may not be an illness or depression.... But I would guess there is something there at times you wished you had someone to talk to about it. I am a believer that if you can get it out of your head and verbalize how you feel it makes it somehow less powerful.

This is not to say this will be a spot to only Bitch, Moan and Feel Sorry for myself. I plan to start putting together recipes from my Mom, Grandma and Family. I promised after Mom died I would put together a cookbook for her, it's been over a year now so I suppose I had better get on with it.

Also, it is my wish to be able to come back here a year from now and see that while I still may be struggling with my lung issues, I will have figured out how to live without regret, to find purpose, and to get past the thoughts of death that haunt my dreams. At this moment, it is those queit times at night when thoughts fill my head and sleep. I need to figure out a way to put this "life expectancy" issue out of my head and realize I had better get started living while I still have the chance. Why doctor's even feel obligated to mention life expectancy is beyond me! LOL

So..... Happy 48th Birthday for me. I can only hope this year will be better than last. I believe life Ebs and Flows... It is time for the tide to change.