As I live and breathe

Last night I took my medicine and went to bed.  I fell asleep pretty fast.  A little before 4:00 a.m. I again awoke with TERRIBLE gripping pain in my chest, pain shooting down my arm, and the worse pressure headache ever!  I staggered out of bed and into the bathroom to get my pain meds... then into the kitchen for a bottle of water.  Then to just make it back to bed ... Bill must have heard me because he met me in the kitchen and helped me back to bed.  I could not lay down, neither could I set upright ... I was left kind of rolling around holding firmly to my chest and moaning and crying like a baby.  I remembered the instructions they gave me when the sent me home from the E.R. told me that heat may help, so I had Bill get the heating pad for me.  I didn't roll it or fold it like I should have ... I crammed it up inside of my sports bra.  After about 20 minutes either the meds or the heating pad took the edge off the pain and I could lay down and go back to sleep. 

I remember Bill telling me to relax and breath.  He said I looked like I was having an anxiety attack.  I told him not being able to breath tends to do that to me!!  I tell you, whatever these things are it is like someone has my heart in their hand and starts to squeeze and wrench it. 

I remember asking Bill..... What is it with chest pain and 4:00 in the morning?  Why doesn't this happen at midnight, or 2:00 in the afternoon?  It must be once I am the most relaxed or something?  I dunno...

I think I mentioned that my doctor was trying to get me into see a Cardiologist?  Well, they called me this morning and I have an appointment for tomorrow @ 1:30.  They are going to hook me up to an "event monitor".  It is like a 24 hour 7 day EKG monitor.  This way they can watch what my heart is doing. 

Not that I am wishing another one of those 4:00 a.m. things on myself... but at least it would show what my heart is doing during this most painful event.  They want to try and figure out why my pulse is so rapid.  My doctor told me it cannot continue like this or my heart will begin to wear out. 

I swear... I feel like a 49 year old trapped inside a 75 year old woman's body.  And, that's not to knock any 75 year olds... they are probably in better shape than I am. 

So, I am exhausted again tonight.  I will go take my meds and go to bed.  I'll make sure to post once I am home from the cardiologists and let you know what's going on. 

I am a little apprehensive about going to sleep tonight.  LoL  How sad is it that now I am afraid to go to sleep.  Good Lord!!