Walking into a new and brighter life.

Walking into a new and brighter life.

The healthy me

The healthy me

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This I know.................

This I know.................

Monday, November 8, 2010

I woke up this morning and got a cup of coffee and sat down in my chair to watch the news, about 3 hours later I woke up and couldn't believe I had fallen back asleep and for so long.  Bill snuck out and while I was sleeping he put up Christmas lights on the house and fence. 
Good timing, it started sprinkling snow this afternoon, not enough to count, just enough to make it blustery cold.

I painted a few little miniature people scene's for Brittney's Christmas village and played on the computer for a while, then went in and laid down and slept another 2 hours.  I am still ready to call it a night and go to bed and it's only 7:30.  Talk about a waisted day!

I went outside a few times this afternoon because Bill wanted my opinion about lights or something and as soon as I hit the cold air... my breath went away.  I had forgotten from last winter about the dry cold air.  This year it's much much worse.  There was nothing there to breath in.
I will definitely have to keep scarves around to wrap around my face while I am out and until I get into a building.  It was scary today how quickly it took my breath away.

I get tired of having special needs.  I get tired of being tired.  I get tired of a lot of things these days.  In the last week I have step on my own cannula ripping it from my face SO many times I can't count them all.  It hurts.  I get so pissed that a few times I have sailed my cannula and tubing across the room.  I feel like a little kid having a tantrum and half expect to hear my mom say "do you feel better now?"  LoL  It just is so annoying dragging this thing around all day.  I feel like a dog tethered to a post.  I have a certain diameter I can go in and then I reach the end of my rope (so to speak). 

I am down on myself because I have blown my diet this week.  I am going to pass on Weight Watchers tomorrow.  I know if I go I will have a gain, and I would rather try and make up for it this week and see what the damage is next week.  I feel like a total loser for this.  How can I take control of anything in my life if I can't even control my food intake? 

It sounds like just a down day today.  Maybe I should just call it a night and see if tomorrow can be better.
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