Walking into a new and brighter life.

Walking into a new and brighter life.

The healthy me

The healthy me

Finding your way around

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This I know.................

This I know.................

Thursday, June 10, 2010

My sincere appreciation

I am not a religious person. I believe in god but I never have gone for organized religion. So when I say I have been blessed... I don't say that lightly!

Yesterday I think (days run together) I went to the Become an Ex site to hunt down HWC. I wanted to let him know I reached one year and thank him personally.

I ended up blogging there. I introduced myself and briefly explained that I just reached my one year anniversary and then told a little about life with Codp/Emphysema. It wasn't even one of my "wordier" blogs. I had a lot of responses to it, more than usual. And, most of them talked about how much strength I have and some even admired me for writing about myself.

Then I came here tonight and read Guilia's response to my last blog.

I feel blessed and humbled. As bad as I feel some days, as many days as I feel like I will drowned in self pity, It has come to my attention that I actually might make a difference with this blog, and talking honestly about my struggle.

I know you hear people say "I hope I can make a difference". Well, it somehow means more to me than I can express. It gives me new determination to stand up to this disease and fight again. I know it won't make any difference for me, but if I can reach someone else going through it... Then it's worth it.

Bill and I got into an argument about this trip. He saying we should reschedule and me crying (and getting pissed at myself for crying) and trying to explain that last year I could travel freely and we didn't. This year I have some tanks to haul around and still the year is half gone and this will be our first trip away from home... and I will NOT let him cancel it. I need to have fun while I can. I need to spend time with family now, not when I am confined to a chair.
Maybe next year I won't be able to travel at all... so we are going.

That is part of the new me that he and Brittney say they are not used to. I have always been one to "go with the flow". To back down from confrontation. Well, these days I figure I have to be a little stronger and speak a little louder if I need to get my point across. Speaking of "speaking a little louder", my voice is getting really raspy, I am sure it is the nodule. But it's kind of creepy, this voice coming out of me is not mine. LoL

I just wanted to thank you Guilia and everyone who commented such lovely things on the Ex site to my anniversary blog. It means so much to me.

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