I was talked off the ledge

So, I would say I slept on it. But sleeping isn't in my vocabulary these days. I thought and thought about this letter to my step father and step brother who is co-executor. I thought and I would sit down and type. Then I would stop and think some more.

I decided I was not going to write to my step-father. I have to let that go. But I did write a terribly long letter to my step-brother and co-executor of the estate.
I babbled, I jumped from one subject to the other, and I wrote.

Then as I promised him I would do... I sent the letter to my big brother to "proof read" for me. He called tonight and pretty much thumped me on my forehead. LoL
He gently told me so many of the things I put in that letter were of little to no consequence to my "step family". Things I thought were important meant little to anyone else.

I ended up agreeing with him. I have to let this go, I just do!

I did ask for my step-brother/co-executor's help to try and regain a few things that were just given away due to spite and that I have actual proof of where they were intended to go. We'll see if anything comes of it.

As for me..... I am back to having breathing issues. Today like a fool I forgot to take my medicine this morning. That is 2 inhaled meds and a anti-inflammatory. At around 3:00 I remembered... only because I was feeling terrible, but by that time it was too late to do anything about. I did use my rescue inhaler more today than I have in months! I just took all my meds and I am waiting for them to start helping before I go lay down. Laying down these days isn't the best thing for my breathing. I find that sleeping on my side helps, but kills my lower back. So, I roll around a lot. I miss those days when I could flop into bed and just sleep. These days if it isn't my back, its my breathing... or waking up with the cannula wrapped around my neck and feeling like someone is choking me to death! LoL Awe... what a life! LoL

I got a message from one of my best friends in high school. She is just a doll. It hasn't been too long that we got back in touch with each other. She was so kind and thoughtful that I just cried. Why is it ... it's easier for me to hear bad things, rather than kind words? She reminded me that I am still me. Although looking inside out.. I feel SO different. That's my issue though. Bless her heart. She gave me what I needed to once again push forward.
Some days that feels like an uphill battle. I really have to quit dwelling on all this outside stuff that I have no control over, and concentrate on enjoying life again.