Walking into a new and brighter life.

Walking into a new and brighter life.

The healthy me

The healthy me

Finding your way around

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This I know.................

This I know.................

Monday, December 6, 2010

Christmas and other stuff

So, I am really picky about decorating for Christmas.  Even when Brittney was little I would have her decorate her own tree or let her put ornaments on the tree then wait for her to go to bed and re-do the entire thing.  I have special ornaments that were handmade from Mom like this Santa below.  It is beaded with the smallest of beads.  She was amazingly talented. 

 While I was taking these pictures our poor pit bull got caught  like a deer in the headlights.  She sat there just shaking until I finished taking pictures, so I had to snap one of her.  This is Midori, the pit bull who is the sweetest and cuddliest dog we have ever had.
 This is one of Mom's ornaments that she bought on a trip to the Oregon coast and found a year around Christmas store.  We always talked about going back there but never did.  It is beautiful, and has graced my tree for 2 years now, but will always be "mom's ornament".
 I get up every morning and turn on the tree and all the lights in the house.  I just love it.  It is so cheerful and happy.  I can be having the worst day ever and be around beautiful Christmas things and it just lifts my spirits. 
 So, with as picky as I am with my tree and the decorations ... I was looking the other morning at the tree turning (it spins slowly 360 degrees) and I thought I noticed something that "didn't fit in", but the tree turned and I lost it.  Then I saw it again and removed it and asked Bill what it was and why was it on the tree?  He said it was a tag off of a watch he ordered and he gave it to Layla.  She thought it would be pretty on my tree.  So I walked over and put it back on the tree.  She was SO proud and happy when she came over the next time to see it still there.  I must be getting soft in my old age.  Brittney would have never gotten away with that.
So, I joined or "liked" a page on face book.  It is the COPD Foundation.  It has good information there and they feature a new "face of COPD" each month.  I had my turn a few months ago.
I made a comment on one of the stories.  It was written by a woman who was diagnosed with severe copd but still smoked. 
I made the comment that while I was sorry for her diagnoses she is further increasing the damage by smoking.  Anyway.............. She went off on me last night and said things like ... I am rude, cruel, mean, selfish and uncaring. 

Why I let the words of one woman bother me I don't know.  But instantly I felt compelled to clear my name.  One strangers words cut me like I hadn't been in years!  Well, that's not exactly true... my step father and his actions hurt worse ... but for a total stranger to effect me like that surprised me.

I am channeling my friend Giulia, I know I am...... But letting one person who is a stranger get under my skin is ridiculous.  I know my intentions and she couldn't be further from the truth. 
Anyway... It floored me how I let it bother me all night.  This morning I woke up and thought... It is one lady.  I don't know what she is going through and in return she doesn't have insight into my life either.  I am letting it go, staying away from that site for a while and stopping being such a baby.

I have weigh in tomorrow, and for the first time in weeks I am anxious about it.  This hasn't been a good week for me with my eating or my exercise.  I'll post my results, cross your fingers for me.

I got a message from my cousin who is the nurse at the University of Washington this morning.  I had told him they are thinking LVR now.  He said to him that makes much more sense.  He said it is a difficult surgery but they do many of them there.  He said he would be very interested to know the patients progress after they leave.  He just cares for them and then they check out and go on with their lives.  So, I told him this will be a first for both of us. :)
Still no word.  I really don't expect anything soon.  I keep remember hearing this process takes time.  So I need to not dwell on it.
I am not ready anyway.  I still have much more weight to lose.  So... I had better get going.


Sarah Renner said...

I so love you....I hate our tree and keep threatening to do my own tree lol....Jeremy is insistent the girls get to decorate our tree and KELLIE it looks like Santa vomited on it lol
Ugh....oh well maybe next year I will just do it and get my own damn tree....not sure why it bothers me except now that I get to do Christmas I love it!!! I am addicted to Christmas....I keep buying more gifts I think I am a shopping addict and you cannot currently see half my tree now ;)
Thank you for the Christmas card, I will send one to you as soon as we get ours, I finally ordered ours and waiting for them to come.
Love you,
Love me =)

Giulia said...

You have a tree that spins 360???? Amazing. That means you have to decorate the whole way around. Twice as much work. Boy does it look beautiful. I'm glad you softened up, grandma, and put Layla's ornament back on. Christmas IS about love after all.

Speaking of which, I call it an act of love to tell someone that they are hurting themselves by continuing to smoke. Rude, cruel, mean, selfish and uncaring is what she is being to her body and to those who love her. Whenever one has to defend themselves with words like that, it's an indication that a button has been pushed in them. When I've had experiences with someone like that on the internet who doesn't know me and takes my words not as I intended, I immediately apologize for offending them and wish them all the best. It's a beautiful way to clear the air. And makes it that much easier to "let it go." More often than not they will accept the apology and give you one back. Speak from a loving heart and most times you can't go wrong.

Spunkie said...

Love all your Christmas decorations
and Love it that you told the lady to STOP SMOKING it may save her life. Hugs