Irony

I am sitting at the computer tonight not wanting to go to bed.  The last 4 nights I have slept about 1/3 of the time throughout the night.  The rest of the time I was laying there perfectly awake, but afraid if I just gave in and got out of bed I would be exhausted the next day.  Well, guess what... it's 4 days later and I'm exhausted anyway.

I have taken my medicine about 1/2 hour ago, which normally would make me drowsy by now.  Lately not at all!  I have tried reading before bed instead of watching T.V..  I have tried just going to bed without any distractions.  Nothing is working. 

Today was a busy day.  You know, nothing particular... just seemed like we were going all day.  Taking my spare O2 canisters in and trading them for filled ones, along with some new cannula's.  They will deliver them to me, but we had to be at that end of town anyway. 
Then we went to Walmart, I knew I needed something from there, but could not for the life of me remember what it was.  Bill is getting used to my forgetfulness, so we just wandered around until it came to me.  Walmart is the only place in town that I can buy vacuum bags with extra filtration. 

When we got home this afternoon I tried to do some cardio.  Yesterday I just didn't have it in me.  Today wasn't much better, but with 15 to 20 minute intervals I managed to get in an hour and 45 minutes. 

Tonight my chest hurts.  It hurts on the left side where my heart is, and is worse when I take deep breaths.  My pulse rate is high anywhere from 120-130 just sitting around.  I have drastically reduced my caffeine trying to see if that helps.  I LOVE coffee.  I always have.  The stronger the better, so not drinking it is almost as big as quitting smoking.  I am down to 2 cups maybe 3 in the morning. 

I was thinking today that after 12 years I am losing weight and exercising for the first time in my life.  I am getting my body in better shape than it's been since my 30's, but don't have the breathing capacity to enjoy it.  
So goes life I guess.  And, I realize that losing weight makes breathing easier, it helps not lugging around all that extra weight, it's better on my bones and back.  Yada, Yada, Yada!  LoL  I just see the irony in it.

O.K. ... I think (fingers and toes crossed) I may be able to go in and get to sleep in a semi quick time.  Later.....