Thinking of a friend

Today was an exhausting day.  This was the day to update all my SSI information and keep them in the "loop" as far as possibly moving out of the state for transplant.  It almost takes an act of congress for my benefits to be forwarded to Washington State on a Temp basis.  I still have heard nothing about the transplant. 

This is difficult for me.  Knowing that this is in my future, but not knowing ANY details about journey.  I don't even know if I should put my Christmas tree up?  I am sure yes, but I keep going back to what my pulmonologist said... "I want you in Seattle before winter".  That makes me think at least for my initial consultation and exams it will be soon.  But then I talk with my Pulm.'s nurse and she says be patient this could take a while. 
So... where does that leave me?  I am in limbo.  I can do limbo, but it just makes this whole process seem like it's not happening.

I am trying to tie up all these loose ends.  I am going through closets cleaning and throwing stuff out, organizing other things and cleaning.  Making sure all my necessary paperwork is labeled CLEARLY in the filing cabinet for Bill and Brittney to get to if needed.  I am making notes and leaving them on my "desktop" on the computer.  Things like... where to find my advanced directive, my will, my bills that still need paid, my passwords for face book, pogo, credit cards... etc.  These things will have to be taken care of at some point.  I have also written personal letters to Bill, Britt and Layla to have after I am gone.  All this does not mean I am thinking negative because I am not.  I have to be realistic though and I would rather be prepared for the worse and not need any of it, than to go through what we did when mom passed away.  That was UGLY.

Bill and I went to the grocery store today.  NEVER again will I go to the store on the 1st any more!!  Rude people everywhere.  Anyway.. after our shopping was done we stopped by our favorite taco wagon on the way home and out walking our attorney.  He is adorable and the nicest most genuine man ever!  He keeps reminding me to finish writing my will and mail it to him and he will make it top priority and get it to the point where I can meet him at our bank to have it notarized. 

One of my friends I met on face book through the COPD group and I were chatting last night about how cute the trick-or-treaters were.  Tonight her husband left a message on her page saying she is in the critical care unit of the hospital with acute heart and lung failure.  She had been telling me she was coughing phlegm up, and I warned her about pneumonia. 

This is why I am so afraid of germs anymore.  I continue to knock on wood everyday and thank the big guy ^ up there for keeping me healthy.  I have not had one cold since I quit smoking.  That last cold I had in April and May of 09 scared me.  And, had I not been diagnosed and quit smoking in June I would have probably been in about the same shape as my friend.  I remember like it was yesterday.  We were at Brittney's house when she lived in Lebanon and Abe was there visiting for a couple days and I had to sleep on the couch almost sitting up in order to breath without having coughing attacks.  I don't think that I had ever been that sick or scared.

So, I protect myself as well as I can.  When we shop I carry disinfectant wipes to use on the shopping carts.  I soak all the veggies when we get home before I put them away.  I use cloths to wipe down all canned food we buy.  You just never know what is lurking.  Mom would be giggling at me.  She bleached EVERYTHING, even us kids at times.  She used more purex than most people use laundry soap. 

I have had some dizzy spells that has Bill worried.  They never last long, but I had one yesterday that almost took me off my feet.  I also have had some coordination problems.  I usually am not a klutz, but lately I just don't have my footing.  I am not sure if this is Copd related or not, but worth mentioning.

At the store today I found fresh Brussels Sprouts.  Have you ever seen them grow?  Bill was amazed.  LOL

We bought this awesome bottle of wine, I thought if nothing else we can use it for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.  I love the bottle.  LOL  That is no way to buy wine... I know I know!  ;)

My 87 Pages of recipe book I wrote and had printed.  I love it, and will make 2 more for my brothers only I will change the cover for them so it's not so "girly"

And to put a adorable face on the end to my night.... Layla.  She is growing so fast!