As I live and breathe

I have to add another blog tonight.  Since I started this journey I have met so many warm and giving people.  They are what give me strength and hope when I am afraid and want to quit trying. 

I joined a quit smoking site Become an Ex and met some of the most wonderful people there.  I consider many of them friends even though we have never met in person.  They will never quite know how much their friendship and loyalty have helped me these last 15 months. 

I also joined groups on face book.  Copd sites and Transplant sites.  There I share many things with people who are going through the same things I am.  We understand each other and no one second guess us when we speak of being scared and breathless, or having pains that no one else can see. 

On one of these sites I met a woman who came to me and requested friendship.  She was genuine and gentle and caring.  She had a heart and double lung transplant 15 years ago and would ease my fears with her strength.  She was married and loved her husband.  They had one son who was everything to her. 
She passed away yesterday afternoon from complications due to organ rejection..  Bless her soul. 

It just made me want to come here and let my friends know how much you've meant to me. 

I can not go through this journey alone.  My husband and my daughter are wonderful and give me strength.  But in life for one reason or another I have few good friends who live near us to confide in ... not counting my daughter.

This just caught me off guard and scared me.  I guess it's easy for me to sit at my computer and type blogs and spill my heart onto a computer screen.  But in real life it's not so easy to deal daily with it all. 

Today was a exhausting day and I did nothing.  That to me is frustrating.  I am off to bed, but wanted to give thanks and much love to all of you who have stood beside me and helped me along this last year.  I want you to know I value your friendship and I never take it for granted.

Goodnight