Getting used to the new me

I got home yesterday from my post-op appointment with my surgeon.  
First they removed all my stitches and said my wounds are healing nicely.  They said 2 or 3 more weeks and I can swim again and take baths (yeah!!).  They still want me to stay on my pain medication full time and take the next 2 weeks easy.  But, then I can begin to exercise again!

I have an oxymeter which tells me by putting it on my finger what my O2 saturation level is and my heart rate.    Since surgery I have used it often to see if the surgery worked.  Most the time I had really good stats, but as before when I got up and worked a little my heart rate would sore and my O2 level would drop.

The doctors told me to try very hard not to use it.  To listen to my body as to when to slow down, sit down and deep breath, and when I may need a little O2.  That I have to build up my core again and become stronger before I can cut down and come off the O2 while exercising, or activity.

I have to say it is hard for me to live now as a healthy person.  I want to pick up that oxymeter and use it always to tell me when I am O.K. and when I am not.  I have a very hard time trusting myself to be responsible for me.  So, I am still using the oxymeter every so often.  

I will get used to the new health plan.  It has changed 100%.  No O2!  Wow!  For a while I will still carry it with me... just in case.  But, chances are I will not need it.  I can control it myself.  I have to keep telling myself that.