A call you don't want to get

First I'll catch you up.  (I hate this laptop, I keep deleting every line I write... grrrr)

Since my last blog and my doctors appointment I have been house bound.  Well, mostly.  I did make a quick trip to the pharmacy and to my daughters house.  Our air quality has been in the dangerous zone for almost 2 weeks.  I feel like one of those Garfield cats you see in car windows with their faces smashed on the glass looking out. 

My chest is tight.  For those of you without this disease my best way to describe this is to compare it to diving too deep in the water and that tightness you feel in your chest before you can get to the surface and breath in that sweet deep breath.  Well.... I haven't had that breath in about a year, and then only on fortunate days.
So far my new medication isn't too bad.  The only side effect that has surfaced is diahria (sp?)... which is almost fine because all the rest of my other drugs are still causing constipation.  I haven't felt any improvement yet, but it's been less than a week.   LOL  I was pleasantly surprised that my insurance pays 100% of it. 

I got a call tonight.  One of those calls that as soon as you hear the voice and the first sentence, your blood runs cold and your heart just feels heavy.
One of my best friends through Jr. High and High School's sister called to tell me her little sister had just been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.  I can't recall dates (when I hear bad news I get selective hearing) but they opened her up to do a lobectomy (which is pretty much a lung volume reduction surgery) they were going to remove one or both upper lobes, but once they opened her up they found cancer had went into her lymphatic system,  They are doing a brain scan next week to see if it has metastasized.  Her course of action now is chemo, but of course they will not know how bad or how long until all tests are done. 

I am not a very religious person... but please pray for her.  Her name is Gail and I love her, she is 49 years old.

This makes me just want to SCREAM at cigarettes.  We started smoking together, sneaking cigarettes and going "for walks" to smoke them.  We were maybe 13.  Because ..... YES, we knew they were supposed to be bad for us, but "nothing bad will ever happen to us". 

Any way.. I am just heartbroken.